Practical Principle #1: Stop, Drop and Roll With It

Now here at the Rock we have two rules. Memorize them until you can say them in your sleep. Rule number one: Obey all rules. Rule number two: No writing on the walls. Barney Fife

By my third and final meeting, I wasn't sure if I'd been interviewing for a job as Dr. James Dobson's research assistant or a spot on the U. S. Olympic gymnastics team. On three separate occasions, three different people had asked me three variations of the same question:

"Are you a flexible person?" asked Jackie Kintz of human resources.

"How do you feel about a day that starts in one direction," pressed Ron Reno, the director of the president's office, "yet winds up ending in another?"

And finally, from Dr. Dobson himself: "Paul," he cautioned, "the pace in this office can be breathtaking — and there's no question about it, this job will stretch you. Do you think you're up to the challenge?"

In a cautious yet confident tone, I answered affirmatively each time. I quickly learned, however, that within each question there was a prescient warning of great worth: You'd better be ready to go with the flow or you'll soon discover that the flow will go without you!

In many ways, working in James Dobson's office is very much like living in the average American household. The pace is fast, plans change on a moment's notice, and your priorities are often shuffled faster than a deck of cards in Las Vegas! Indeed, in the years since my initial interview, time has taught me that flexibility and adaptability in the workplace may very well be the two main keys to professional success. While the remaining 19 principles contained within this book are vital and important, they mean very little if your spirit is stubborn and you're unwilling to make adjustments that are in the best interest of your organization.

What I'm saying is this: Flexibility is the hinge on which all the rest of these rules swing. In simpler terms, sometimes you have to stop, drop what you're doing, and roll with what may come.

Consider the circumstances in which the apostles chose to follow Jesus. The Scriptures don't suggest that there was an elaborate application process, or that the Twelve were given a written offer and a window of time to weigh the wisdom of the opportunity at hand. Hardly. In the midst of a fishing expedition along the shores of Galilee, four men — Simon, Andrew, James and John — encountered a Jesus who was in need of a quick answer. "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men" [Mark 1:17, NIV]. Did they ask for some time to think about it? No! "At once they left their nets," records Mark, "and followed him." They changed their plans, Jesus changed them, and as a result, they set out to change the world by sharing the teachings of their Master.

God's Word is full of examples where the plans of the Lord necessitate human flexibility. You might recall how the Magi, warned in a dream about Herod's intention to slay the infant Jesus, chose to circumvent the King and travel home a different route after the birth of Christ. [Matthew 2:12]

In Luke, we read of Jesus chastising a woman named Martha who was critical of her sister, Mary, for dropping everything when Christ came to visit. Martha wanted to stay on task — and saw only the unfinished chores of the household. Said Jesus to Martha, " … you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her" [Luke 10:41-42, NIV]. Mary made adjustments — Martha did not. Of course, this isn't all that surprising because the flesh is often resistant to change. In his first letter to the Philippians, the apostle Paul revealed just such a personal struggle. "I am torn between the two" he wrote, "I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body" [Philippians 1:23-23, NIV]. Paul made adjustments, resisted the urge to throw in the towel and, as a result, set in motion a movement unlike the world had ever seen. Paul understood what many of us quickly forget: God's plans don't change — but ours often need to if we're to live in accordance with Him.

Changing on the Fly

Have you ever watched a game of hockey? Unlike in baseball, basketball, and football, play doesn't halt to accommodate a substitution. At a predetermined time, known only to the respective squad, a "line" of players will skate off the ice and be replaced by a fresh group of teammates. This line shift, however well practiced, often appears chaotic, with inadvertent collisions and mishaps that result in too many or too few players remaining on the ice, or maybe even an opponent going unguarded. In short, it's the efficiency of the transition — and the capitalization of opportunity when presented — that often determines the success or failure of the team.

Isn't that very much like life itself? Neither opportunity nor adversity can be counted on to give adequate notice. It's our reaction to varying situations, not always the predicament itself, that makes or breaks the circumstance. It's all about adjustment and transition.

In many ways, I liken our office here at Focus on the Family, to an NHL ice rink. The clock runs continuously, the opponent moves quickly and unpredictably, the surface is slick, and the barbs from the sidelines can sometimes be brutal. Yet, in response, Dr. Dobson is not afraid to pull the goalie in return for an extra skater if we're late in the game and looking to score.

In the summer of 2003, Judge Roy Moore, at the time the Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, was ordered by a federal judge to remove a stone display of the Ten Commandments from the rotunda of the State Judicial Center. The judge refused, citing the oath he took upon entering office that invokes God's name, and thus, God's law. Government officials disagreed and stated emphatically that the monument violated the "separation of church and state" tradition. To protest the court order, thousands of citizens began to gather daily on the steps of the Montgomery courthouse to pray and petition the state to leave the two-and-a-half ton granite marker in place. With each passing day, the rallies grew in size.

At the time of the ruling, Dr. Dobson was in Washington, D.C., attending a weeklong series of meetings on the Federal Marriage Amendment. With the removal of the monument imminent, a coalition from Alabama phoned Focus on the Family President Don Hodel, wondering if the ministry, and in particular, James Dobson, would be available to host a rally the next day in Montgomery. With less than 24 hours to go, Don called Dr. Dobson in Washington. Would he consider attending the rally?

"Let's do it!" said Dr. Dobson. "If not now, then when?" Transportation was quickly arranged. The logistics were ironed out. Dr. Dobson worked into the wee hours of the next morning, pulling his thoughts together, gathering his facts, and writing his speech.

With more than 4,000 people jammed into the courthouse square, a tired yet enthusiastic James Dobson stepped to the microphone and rallied the supporters of Chief Justice Judge Roy Moore. After describing the road that brought them to this moment, he spoke personally and emotionally: "There was a time, when I was younger," he said, "that it stung me to be called a 'right winger.' There was a time when I didn't want to take the heat. There was a time when I wanted to say what I needed to say, but then tried to keep my head down. I've got to tell you. Those days are over." The crowd roared its approval.

I wish I could say his speech was the catalyst that turned the ship around. Unfortunately, just days later, federal officials wheeled the monument away and pushed it into a dark closet, just feet away from where it once stood.

As a result, critics might consider the trip a failure. I disagree.

You see, Dr. James Dobson's trip to Montgomery on August 28, 2003, exemplified the truest form of leadership. Given an opportunity to affect change, he jumped at the chance. He stopped what he was doing, lost himself in the cause, and rolled with circumstances. He didn't send someone in his place — he went himself. Victory was his goal, but the honor of the battle was just as important as the end result. His calendar had him coming home to a day of rest and recuperation in Colorado Springs; instead, he found himself standing under a 100-degree, hot and humid sunny sky. This is who he is. The calendar is merely a suggestion if the Lord has another plan, however late the hour may be.

In our offices, yesterday is history—and tomorrow? Mystery! That's because Dr. Dobson doesn't believe in chasing after the plans of man, but instead, chooses to seek out the will of God. Theoretically, you might expect this in the world of ministry, but practically, it's easier said than done. Thorough planning is a part of any successful venture, but success finds its root in the source of the plan, not simply in the process itself. In other words, God won't bless anything that he hasn't first ordained.

And sometimes, God ordains a circumstance to simply teach us a lesson.

Don't Be Alarmed

The need for flexibility doesn't always show itself in high drama. Sometimes profound lessons can arise from the simplest of circumstance.

It was a bad way to begin a busy day. With the temperature hovering in the single digits and the roads iced over, I was anxious to get an early start. The typical 15-minute drive to the office was looking more like an hour as I peered outside to see our car covered in six inches of freshly fallen Colorado snow.

"Look how pretty!" said Julie, my wife of six months. Gathering my bag, I feigned a smile. With four bald tires that I had been meaning to replace since the summer, I wasn't anxious to drive in the snow, however "pretty" it may have been.

"Okay, let's go!" I offered, trying to sound upbeat, still fumbling for the keys in a bucket we kept by the door. At the time, Julie was working for Focus on the Family as well, and we often commuted together. I found the keys, but I couldn't find the button that disengaged the car locks and turned off the alarm. The contraption had broken off the chain months ago, and we had been carrying it around separately ever since.

Knowing that my wife had used the car the previous evening, I quickly turned to her.

"Did you put the alarm button in your purse?" I asked rather impatiently.

Putting her index finger to her lips and raising her eyes in contemplative fashion, she answered in a halting manner. "Uh, hmmm, I-I-I don't think so" was her uncertain reply.

We scoured the apartment. The precious time that I had been trying to save was quickly slipping away. Finally, Julie remembered where she had left the alarm.

"Uh-oh," she said.

"What?" I excitedly asked.

"I remember now where I left it."

"Where?" I responded, half expecting a happy ending.

"I dropped the alarm in the supermarket parking lot last night while I was loading the groceries in the car."

Shaking my head, I was perplexed.

"You what? You dropped it … why didn't you pick it up?" I asked incredulously.

Sheepishly, she said, "I meant to, but I just forgot."

I was speechless — and miffed.

Unable to get into the car, we arranged alternative transportation into work and arrived late. All the way, I played the silent martyr. Dubious to how my wife could do what she had done, I was eager to find some sympathy from my co-workers.

Although I wasn't to find it, I did learn a great lesson of life.

After settling in, I walked into Dr. Dobson's office for a brief meeting. Still stewing from the car incident, I began to share my frustration with him. He listened, nodded, sighed, and ultimately, had a good laugh at my expense.

"Paul," he said, in a bemused and fatherly fashion, his lips pursed together in the form of a sly smile, "you've got to learn something. Those things are going to happen as sure as the sun is going to rise. Get used to it! Laugh at it. Your marriage will be the better for it."

That is just one of the many lessons I've learned from Dr. James Dobson. Accept your circumstances. Make adjustments accordingly. And roll with it. It comes down to this: James Dobson strives to run Focus on the Family on the same terms and by the same standards on which he manages his own life. He is a biblical steward in every sense of the word. Everything that he does must conform to the knowledge and will of God. Anything outside those parameters is like the chaff from wheat: worthless and expendable. His priorities are first filtered through his understanding of God's will, not his personally motivated agenda.

Points to Remember

• Flexibility should increase and decrease in direct proportion to how far we're stretched in a circumstance. Welcome the challenge and reach, even if the goal appears beyond grasp.
• Adaptability is not a measure of compromise; it's a measure of maturity.
• If you find yourself irritated while dealing with an unchangeable circumstance, change the one thing you can control: your attitude!
• Show me a man who can make adjustments while failing and I'll show you a man who is only steps from success.