Give Him What He Needs

October 2005

Dear Friends:

In recent months, I've written to you about the scourge of pornography, about the court-ordered death by starvation of Terri Schiavo, the sordid state of our entertainment industry and much more. This month, however, I want to return to the subject to which I have devoted more than 30 years of my life — that of childrearing. This was my "first love," professionally, and still occupies center stage in my thinking. The autumn season represents a perfect time to highlight this foundational issue, because Focus and I have recently completed production on a dynamic new video project called the "Your Child™ DVD Parenting Seminar". The first in a series of these parenting videos is being released this month, titled Essentials of Discipline.

Before describing some of the nuts and bolts of this new curriculum, I'd like to explain a little about why we felt the Lord was leading us to take on the project in the first place. There are several good reasons. Our efforts have been motivated primarily by a desire to take the basic parenting principles upon which Focus was built — and which, ultimately, are based on scriptural truths — and "repackage" them for a 21st century audience.

As many of you know, the first "Focus on the Family®" film series dates back to 1978. It was recorded before an audience of 3,000 people at Trinity University's Laurie Auditorium in San Antonio. In a very real sense, the Lord used that series as the bedrock upon which the ministry of Focus has been built and expanded over the years. To date, it has been seen by more than 90 million people. A second video series, "Turn Your Heart Toward Home," was released in 1985. It was filmed in front of an audience of 16,000 people at the Riverfront Coliseum in Cincinnati, and has since been seen by more than 30 million viewers.

I am humbled when I consider how the Lord has used those film series — and the principles outlined therein — to impact so many families both in the United States and around the world. Nevertheless, a lot of water has passed under the bridge since those programs were first produced. The young children of that era have grown up and started families of their own. Much of the information contained in "Focus on the Family" and "Turn Your Heart Toward Home" is still relevant to today's generation of young parents, but at the same time, it was in desperate need of being expanded and updated. Consider, for example, that in the 20-plus years since those videos were originally produced, additional research on the institution of the family has been conducted, and our culture has changed dramatically.

And so, the "Your Child DVD Parenting Seminar" was created with the needs and concerns of the upcoming generation of moms and dads in mind. If you've seen the original "Focus on the Family" film series, perhaps the first thing you'll notice in the "Your Child" videos is the dramatic change in my appearance. Gone are the bushy sideburns that were in vogue in the 1970s. In their place is a hip, handsome 21st century James Dobson (Shirley tells me that I have "aged gracefully," and here's my chance to prove it to the world). By the same token, the 1980s production values of "Turn Your Heart Toward Home," which were adequate at the time but look terribly dated today, have been replaced by enhanced graphics, computer animation, man-on-the-street interviews, and much more.

Of course, it will take more than flashy graphics and a "cool" host to connect with today's young families, and that is why we have also paid careful attention to the content of Essentials of Discipline. The curriculum covers a wide range of topics relevant to parents, including distinguishing between childish irresponsibility and willful defiance; finding balance when disciplining your child; determining whether or not to employ corporal punishment; altering discipline techniques as your child grows and develops; and surviving life with a "strong-willed" child, from infancy all the way through adolescence. Essentials of Discipline contains 12 different video segments spread over three DVDs, along with an insightful guide to help parents hone in on key concepts and ideas. A special church edition, which is designed for use in Sunday school classes, schools and other group venues, has also been produced. It includes the video segments on both DVD and VHS, along with leader's and participant's guides and promotional materials for those who wish to take the message out to their communities.

Although the Your Child materials have only just been released this month, it appears that the Lord is already opening doors for us to share them beyond the typical Focus on the Family audience. I have recently learned the YMCA has reached out to us and asked for our help in supporting their mission statement, "To put Christian principles into practice through programs that build healthy spirit, mind and body for all." We are pleased to assist YMCA associations by providing our resources to help them in launching character education programs that are based not only the Essentials of Discipline DVDs, but also on my book Bringing Up Boys and on Focus on the Family's How to Drug Proof Your Kids™ curriculum.

With the YMCA's desire to strengthen the Christian content of their organization, they were already in the process of working on character education programs when they contacted us for assistance. If you feel that the YMCA in your area or church or any other "family friendly" organization you're affiliated with might be interested in using the Essentials of Discipline curriculum and other materials, I hope you will encourage the director of your local facility to contact us here at the ministry using our toll-free (800) A-FAMILY (232-6459) phone number.

Before closing, I should note that our excitement about the potential growth of the Your Child program has nothing to do with financial gain or ministry expansion. It is, in fact, quite costly to produce resources of this nature, and it is unlikely that we will even manage to "break even" when all is said and done. What does excite me, however, is the apparent eagerness of today's young families to employ parenting techniques that are based on biblical, eternal principles. Our postmodern culture has perpetuated the lie that "values" do not matter and that truth is relative. It's no surprise, then, that many children are growing up in a world increasingly saturated with crime, divorce, sexual immorality, abortion, drug abuse and a general sense of ambivalence about the difference between right and wrong.

My prayer is that the Your Child curriculum will help young parents and today's grandparents make the most of every opportunity to tell their children that there is meaning in this life — meaning that is ultimately found in the timeless truths of Scripture and in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I have said on numerous occasions that instilling spiritual values in our children is much like passing the baton in a relay race. Just as the greatest risk of dropping the baton comes in the hand-off from one runner to the next, so the greatest risk of increased spiritual confusion in our culture arises when parents fail to pass their values on to the precious children that have been entrusted to them. All too often, spiritual values become lost in the transfer between generations.

Will you join me in praying that the Lord would use the Your Child videos to impact the upcoming generation of parents so that they, in turn, can influence their own children for Christ? And as those children grow up, may the values handed down to them by their parents leave them equipped to make an impact on the next generation, and so on. (Perhaps in another 20 years, we'll update our videos again for the young families of the future. I can't guarantee that I'll be around to host the proceedings in 2025, but if the Lord does see fit to keep me on the earth until then, I'm holding out hope that long sideburns will be back in fashion!)

I believe that this curriculum represents the heart of what Focus on the Family is all about. The medium may have changed (who could have envisioned DVDs in 1978?), but the song remains the same. Our hearts resonate with the words of almighty God as recorded in Deuteronomy 5:29 (NIV): "Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me and keep all my commands always, so that it might go well with them and their children forever!"

If you'd like more information about the "Your Child DVD Parenting Seminar," either for your personal use, or for a friend, or for your church, please click on this "Focus on Your Child®" link. We look forward to hearing from you. Until then, God's richest blessings to you and yours!

Sincerely,

James C. Dobson, Ph.D.
Chairman and Founder

P.S. If I sound rather self-promotional in this letter, please know that I receive no royalty from this project since all contributions toward it go directly to the ministry. It has been my privilege to work with the creative team at Focus in this 24-month venture.