In Defending Marriage — Take the Offensive!
I do not recall a time when the institution of marriage faced such peril.
April 2004
Dear Friends:
I write to you today with a profound sense of concern and apprehension for the welfare of the family, and indeed, for the future of our nation. I do not recall a time since the beginnings of Focus on the Family, 27 years ago, when the institution of marriage faced such peril, or when the forces arrayed against it were more formidable or determined. Barring a miracle, the family as it has been known for more than five millennia will crumble, presaging the fall of Western civilization itself. This is a time for concerted prayer, divine wisdom and greater courage than we have ever been called upon to exercise.
For more than 40 years, the homosexual activist movement has sought to implement a master plan that has had as its centerpiece the utter destruction of the family. The institution of marriage, along with an often weakened and impotent Church, is all that stands in the way of its achievement of every coveted aspiration. Those goals include universal acceptance of the gay lifestyle, discrediting of Scriptures that condemn homosexuality, muzzling of the clergy and Christian media, granting of special privileges and rights in the law, overturning laws prohibiting pedophilia, indoctrinating children and future generations through public education, and securing all the legal benefits of marriage for any two or more people who claim to have homosexual tendencies. These objectives that seemed unthinkable just a few years ago have largely been achieved or are now within reach. All that remains is for the movement and its friends in the media, the entertainment industry, the professions, the government and the military, to deliver the coup de grace to a beleaguered institution that was given to humanity by the Creator in the Garden of Eden. We in North America and Europe are not simply "slouching towards Gomorrah," as Judge Robert Bork warned in his best-selling book1; we are hurtling toward it.
To cite another metaphor, the old earthen dam that has held and protected the reservoir of Judeo-Christian values and beliefs since the days of our Founding Fathers has been leaking for decades. Even the most casual observer has witnessed greater structural damage each passing year. But in recent weeks, the entire superstructure appears to have given way. What thousands of homosexuals in San Francisco have achieved represents the collapse of the rule of law, with no legal or governmental official being willing or able to stop it or provide more than a temporary stay. A revolution of striking proportions now looms before us.
This is distressing for many reasons, including the historical perspective of Focus on the Family. We have fought for "the preservation of the home" since I left academia in 1977. That phrase appeared at the bottom of the first printed stationery, which summarized what we were attempting to do. We've been frantically waving a red flag ever since, warning our listeners and readers that the family was in mortal danger. Aided and abetted by arrogant, unaccountable and unelected judges who are determined to implement their vision of political correctness, thousands of unlawfully "married" gays and lesbians are fanning out across the nation, preparing civil rights suits and demanding recognition by the courts. Given the outrageous decision in Lawrence v. Texas (the so-called "sodomy case") and the disturbing rationale for it written by one of the most dangerous men in America, Justice Anthony Kennedy2, there can be little doubt that the U.S. Supreme Court will soon "find" a provision in the Constitution that guarantees homosexual marriage. If the people accept that decision passively, the issue will never be in question again. The institution of the family will have been destroyed.
Well, so what? How would sanctioning marriage between homosexuals be harmful to society? Why shouldn't the family, which they see as outmoded and irrelevant, be broadened and modernized? What harm could possibly be done by yielding to the demands of gays and lesbians? These are among the questions being asked frequently by the secular media, which is almost always biased in its responses. Columnist Steve Blow, for example, recently published an op-ed piece in the Dallas Morning News that addressed the question, "Gay Marriage: Why Would It Affect Me?" Blow said he had read one of my recent letters on this subject and disagreed emphatically with my perspective. He wrote:
". . . when opponents talk about the 'defense of marriage,' they lose me. James Dobson's Focus on the Family just sent out a mailer to 2.5 million homes saying: 'The homosexual activists' movement is poised to administer a devastating and potentially fatal blow to the traditional family.' And I say, 'Huh?' How does anyone's pledge of love and commitment turn into a fatal blow to families?"3
I will try to help Mr. Blow understand our concern, although I doubt if he really wants to "get it." He seems committed to "political correctness," along with others who hide in places where logic and facts cannot penetrate. Nevertheless, I'll offer 10 powerful arguments against lumbering into this untested and unprecedented social experiment, as follows:
The implications for children in a world of decaying families are profound. A recent article in the Weekly Standard described how the advent of legally sanctioned gay unions in Scandinavian countries has already destroyed the institution of marriage, where half of today's children are born out of wedlock.4 It is predicted now, based on demographic trends in this country, that more than half of the babies born in the 1990s will spend at least part of their childhood in single-parent homes.5 Social scientists have been surprisingly consistent in warning against this fractured family. If it continues, almost every child will have several "moms" and "dads," perhaps six or eight "grandparents," and dozens of half-siblings. It will be a world where little boys and girls are shuffled from pillar to post in an ever-changing pattern of living arrangements—where huge numbers of them will be raised in foster-care homes or living on the street (as millions do in other countries all over the world today). Imagine an environment where nothing is stable and where people think primarily about themselves and their own self-preservation.
The apostle Paul described a similar society in Romans 1, which addressed the epidemic of homosexuality that was rampant in the ancient world and especially in Rome at that time. He wrote, "They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless" (v. 29-31, NIV). It appears likely now that the demise of families will accelerate this type of decline dramatically, resulting in a chaotic culture that will be devastating to children.
The introduction of legalized gay marriages will lead inexorably to polygamy and other alternatives to one-man, one-woman unions. In Utah, polygamist Tom Green, who claims five wives, is citing Lawrence v. Texas as the legal authority for his appeal.6 This past January, a Salt Lake City civil rights attorney filed a federal lawsuit on behalf of another couple wanting to engage in legal polygamy.7 Their justification? Lawrence v. Texas. The ACLU of Utah has actually suggested that the state will "have to step up to prove that a polygamous relationship is detrimental to society"—as opposed to the polygamists having to prove that plural marriage is not harmful to the culture.8 Do you see how the game is played? Despite 5,000 years of history, the burden now rests on you and me to prove that polygamy is unhealthy. The ACLU went on to say that the nuclear family "may not be necessarily the best model." 9 Indeed, Justice Antonin Scalia warned of this likelihood in his statement for the minority in the Lawrence case.10 It took less than six months for his prediction to become reality.
Why will gay marriage set the table for polygamy? Because there is no place to stop once that Rubicon has been crossed. Historically, the definition of marriage has rested on a bedrock of tradition, legal precedent, theology and the overwhelming support of the people. After the introduction of marriage between homosexuals, however, it will be supported by nothing more substantial than the opinion of a single judge or by a black-robed panel of justices. After they have done their wretched work, the family will consist of little more than someone's interpretation of "rights." Given that unstable legal climate, it is certain that some self-possessed judge, somewhere, will soon rule that three men and one woman can marry. Or five and two, or four and four. Who will be able to deny them that right? The guarantee is implied, we will be told, by the Constitution. Those who disagree will continue to be seen as hate-mongers and bigots. (Indeed, those charges are already being leveled against those of us who espouse biblical values!) How about group marriage, or marriage between relatives, or marriage between adults and children? How about marriage between a man and his donkey? Anything allegedly linked to "civil rights" will be doable. The legal underpinnings for marriage will have been destroyed.
An even greater objective of the homosexual movement is to end the state's compelling interest in marital relationships altogether. After marriages have been redefined, divorces will be obtained instantly, will not involve a court, and will take on the status of a driver's license or a hunting permit. With the family out of the way, all rights and privileges of marriage will accrue to gay and lesbian partners without the legal entanglements and commitments heretofore associated with it.
With the legalization of homosexual marriage, every public school in the nation will be required to teach that this perversion is the moral equivalent of traditional marriage between a man and a woman. Textbooks, even in conservative states, will have to depict man/man and woman/woman relationships, and stories written for children as young as elementary school, or even kindergarten, will have to give equal space to homosexuals.
From that point forward, courts will not be able to favor a traditional family involving one man and one woman over a homosexual couple in matters of adoption. Children will be placed in homes with parents representing only one sex on an equal basis with those having a mom and a dad. The prospect of fatherless and motherless children will not be considered in the evaluation of eligibility. It will be the law.
Foster-care parents will be required to undergo "sensitivity training" to rid themselves of bias in favor of traditional marriage, and will have to affirm homosexuality in children and teens.
How about the impact on Social Security if there are millions of new dependents that will be entitled to survivor benefits? It will amount to billions of dollars on an already overburdened system. And how about the cost to American businesses? Unproductive costs mean fewer jobs for those who need them. Are state and municipal governments to be required to raise taxes substantially to provide health insurance and other benefits to millions of new "spouses and other dependents"?
Marriage among homosexuals will spread throughout the world, just as pornography did after the Nixon Commission declared obscene material "beneficial" to mankind.11 Almost instantly, the English-speaking countries liberalized their laws against smut. America continues to be the fountainhead of filth and immorality, and its influence is global. The point is that numerous leaders in other nations are watching to see how we will handle the issue of homosexuality and marriage. Only two countries in the world have authorized gay marriage to date—the Netherlands and Belgium.12 Canada is leaning in that direction, as are numerous European countries. Dr. Darrell Reid, president of Focus on the Family Canada, told me two weeks ago that his country is carefully monitoring the United States to see where it is going. If we take this step off a cliff, the family on every continent will splinter at an accelerated rate. Conversely, our U.S. Supreme Court has made it clear that it looks to European and Canadian law in the interpretation of our Constitution.13 What an outrage! That should have been grounds for impeachment, but the Congress, as usual, remained passive and silent.
Perhaps most important, the spread of the Gospel of Jesus Christ will be severely curtailed. The family has been God's primary vehicle for evangelism since the beginning. Its most important assignment has been the propagation of the human race and the handing down of the faith to our children. Malachi 2:15 reads, referring to husbands and wives, "Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth" (NIV). That responsibility to teach the next generation will never recover from the loss of committed, God-fearing families. The younger generation and those yet to come will be deprived of the Good News, as has already occurred in France, Germany and other European countries. Instead of providing for a father and mother, the advent of homosexual marriage will create millions of motherless children and fatherless kids. This is morally wrong, and is condemned in Scripture. Are we now going to join the Netherlands and Belgium to become the third country in the history of the world to "normalize" and legalize behavior that has been prohibited by God himself? Heaven help us if we do!
The culture war will be over, and I fear, the world may soon become "as it was in the days of Noah" (Matthew 24:37, NIV). This is the climactic moment in the battle to preserve the family, and future generations hang in the balance. This apocalyptic and pessimistic view of the institution of the family and its future will sound alarmist to many, but I think it will prove accurate unless—unless—God's people awaken and begin an even greater vigil of prayer for our nation. That's why Shirley and I are urgently seeking the Lord's favor and asking Him to hear the petitions of His people and heal our land. As of this time, however, large segments of the church appear to be unaware of the danger; its leaders are surprisingly silent about our peril (although we are tremendously thankful for the efforts of those who have spoken out on this issue). The lawless abandon occurring recently in California, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Washington and elsewhere should have shocked us out of our lethargy. So far, I'm alarmed to say, the concern and outrage of the American people have not translated into action.
This reticence on behalf of Christians is deeply troubling. Marriage is a sacrament designed by God that serves as a metaphor for the relationship between Christ and His Church. Tampering with His plan for the family is immoral and wrong. To violate the Lord's expressed will for humankind, especially in regard to behavior that He has prohibited, is to court disaster.
Here's the question of the hour: How can we stop the imperious courts and rogue local officials from overriding the will of the people, who continue to oppose homosexual marriage by a wide margin? There is only one answer. It is for the Congress and the state legislatures to pass a Federal Marriage Amendment to define this historic institution exclusively as being between one man and one woman. That is the passion of my heart at this stage of my life. Seven times in the past few months, I have joined more than 50 pro-family leaders in Washington, D.C., imploring members of Congress to protect the family while there is still time. I'm told that there is a brief window, now that the President has expressed his strong support, when a Federal Marriage Amendment might be possible. Still, the opposition to its passage is formidable.
It is terribly difficult to pass a constitutional amendment under the best of circumstances. It requires a two-thirds majority of both houses of Congress and passage by three-fourths of the state legislatures. That has only occurred 27 times in our 228 year history.14 It will certainly not be easily accomplished this time. As I write, 34 senators (seven Republicans and 27 Democrats) are reportedly planning to vote against the FMA.15 Nothing short of a national outcry by the citizens of this country will secure the necessary support. We heard that repeatedly last week when we were on Capitol Hill. This is a time of destiny for our great nation.
Despite the danger that confronts us, I am hopeful that the death of the family can be averted. Most Americans still believe in the Judeo-Christian system of values, and millions of them are people of faith who are calling on the Lord for a miracle on behalf of our nation. That is the source of our confidence at such a perilous time.
As we approach the National Day of Prayer (NDP) on May 6, I am beseeching our brothers and sisters to pray in the public square for the survival of the institutions of marriage and parenthood, and to rally for the restoration of our First Amendment rights that are being stripped away, inch by inch. The theme of this year's NDP is "Let Freedom Ring," taken from Leviticus 25:10, which reads, "Proclaim liberty throughout the land to all its inhabitants" (NIV).
In addition to gathering on the National Day of Prayer, we are suggesting that our friends and supporters participate in what the NDP Task Force is calling "Freedom Five." The purpose is to commit five minutes a day to pray for the five centers of power. They are education, the media, the church, the family and the government (especially the judiciary). Perhaps a million people across the country will join in this effort. For information about NDP or about other prayer observances in your area of the country, please see the clickable map found at www.nationaldayofprayer.org.
I will leave you with this familiar story told in 2 Chronicles 32. There we read about King Hezekiah who had served God "wholeheartedly" during his reign. However, he eventually faced a terrible crisis when Sennacherib, King of Assyria, invaded Judah with 185,000 well-armed and trained warriors. They wiped out the defenders of every city that lay in their path. Then they laid siege to Jerusalem and demanded that Hezekiah surrender or be totally destroyed.
These are the irreverent words shouted by Sennacherib to Hezekiah and his defenders who were standing on the wall:
"Do you not know what I and my fathers have done to all the peoples of the other lands? Were the gods of those nations ever able to deliver their land from my hand? Who of all the gods of these nations that my fathers destroyed has been able to save his people from me? How then can your god deliver you from my hand? Now do not let Hezekiah deceive you and mislead you like this. Do not believe him, for no god of any nation or kingdom has been able to deliver his people from my hand or the hand of my fathers. How much less will your god deliver you from my hand!"(2 Chronicles 32:13-15, NIV).
Hezekiah along with the prophet Isaiah did what you and I would have done under those distressing circumstances. They cried out to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob for deliverance. Hezekiah also encouraged his countrymen with these inspired words: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the King of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles" (2 Chronicles 32:7-8, NIV).
And indeed, the Lord did intervene as a result of the prayers of His people, delivering them from the hands of their enemies. That story should be of great encouragement to every believer who faces overwhelming odds at a time of great distress.
To summarize, let me say that Focus on the Family will not waver during this time of national urgency. By working with the other pro-family organizations and thousands of committed churches throughout the nation, we will strive to defend the principles that matter most. In so doing, we will likely be attacked, misquoted and maligned by the liberal media and by those whose views on marriage and sexuality are radically different from our own. We would covet your prayers during this time of intense debate. No matter what the odds, we are determined to stay the course. And may our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, bless us as we do.
Will you join me in this closing prayer?
"Heavenly Father, our great and magnificent King, we ask You to intercede on behalf of the institution of marriage and plead with You to save the family from those who would destroy it. With them is only 'an arm of flesh,' but our appeal is to the God of the universe who has never lost a battle. We do not deserve Your mercy, but we kneel humbly before You today and repent of our sin and disobedience. When the history of this era is written, let it be remembered as a time when righteousness was rediscovered and when the wickedness of this day would be transformed by a nationwide spiritual renewal that would sweep through the land. For this, we and future generations will be forever grateful."
Sincerely,
James C. Dobson, Ph.D.
Founder and Chairman
P.S. If you have not registered to vote in the November election, may we urge you to do so? Then cast your ballot for the candidates and issues that are consistent with your values and beliefs.
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