'Bringing Up Boys' Goes Video!

November 2002

Dear Friends:

A warm November "hello" to you from all of us here at Focus on the Family! The Thanksgiving holiday will be upon us at the end of the month, with the Christmas season right behind. As we enter this incredibly busy time of year, I hope that you and your loved ones will be able to escape the daily grind and spend some quality time together. Thanksgiving and Christmas are traditionally viewed as family-oriented occasions with deep spiritual meaning, but I wonder how many of us miss out on those blessings because we're too busy with the hustle-and-bustle of the holidays. This year, perhaps we can gear down enough to enjoy being with family and thanking the Lord for His many kindnesses to us including the gift of His Son Who died for our transgressions.

Let me take this opportunity to tell you about a new video series that is being released this month, based on my book Bringing Up Boys. As you may know, the book itself was released in October of 2001, and rapidly became the fastest-selling publication of my career. Now, one year later, the book remains on the top ten lists of both the Christian Booksellers Association and amazon.com's Parenting and Families section. It seems clear that Bringing Up Boys. (or "BUB," as it is sometimes called here at Focus headquarters) is striking a responsive chord with millions of moms and dads. For that, I am grateful.

As it turned out, space and time limitations prevented me from being able to share much of the important information that was gathered while conducting research for the book. Thus, we decided here at Focus on the Family to launch into one of the most ambitious projects in the history of the ministry, requiring more than a year to complete. The result was a series of eleven separate messages, each recorded before a "live" audience consisting of 175 parents, grandparents, teachers and students. Following the presentations were spontaneous interactions with the various audiences, capturing the high-energy, humorous and often touching discussions about boys. They address how they are made, what they need and how to introduce them and their sisters to Jesus Christ. There is no higher calling in life than that responsibility.

Frankly, the preparation of this series was an arduous and expensive task. It was undertaken primarily because of our increasing concern for parents who are trying to raise their children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." [Ephesians 6:4, KJV] It has always been difficult to do that job properly, but it is even more challenging today. The culture is becoming more wicked, and our kids are being targeted by those who would exploit and manipulate young minds for their own purposes. They are routinely exposed to pornography on the Internet, immoral images in the media, safe-sex nonsense at school, enticements to gamble and hundreds of other harmful influences. Superimposed on that cultural backdrop is an entire set of concerns specifically relevant to boys. Because they are inherently less stable than girls, they are more vulnerable to the dangers that swirl around them. Research makes it clear that young males are in serious trouble today, which motivated my book and this new production.

Included in the series is a message called "Origins of Homosexuality." It presents powerful testimonies from John Paulk and Mike Haley, two former homosexuals who successfully left the gay lifestyle and have devoted their lives to sharing Christ's love with those who are experiencing similar struggles. Dr. Joseph Nicolosi then explains what causes homosexuality and how it can be prevented in many cases. The audience question-and-answer sessions also cover a wealth of topics not addressed in the book, ranging from hilarious to heartbreaking. Even those present who were not familiar with the ministry of Focus on the Family or biblical principles in general, including the secular film crew, were often brought to tears during these exchanges.

This production is only the fourth film or video series I've prepared in the past 23 years: The first was called "Focus on the Family" which debuted in 1979; the second was entitled "Turn Your Hearts Toward Home," and was released in 1986; then came "Life on the Edge," designed for those between 16 and 26 years of age, which was released in 1992. Now comes the most recent series, entitled "Dr. James Dobson's Bringing Up Boys." I think it meets the standard set by the other three.

If you have one or more sons or grandsons, or even if you have girls but want a better understanding of how they differ from boys, perhaps you will find this series interesting and helpful. In fact, these very practical presentations should be of relevance to everyone who is interested in the inherent nature of young males and the pressures they typically face from early childhood through adolescence. Behavioral research reveals that many boys are foundering today, both at home and in school. Every boy needs special care and guidance during each stage of his developmental journey.

The videos are intended for individual families or for group use. They are ideal for neighborhood gatherings, for schools (a public school version is coming soon), for churches to present as an outreach in their neighborhoods or for Sunday school curricula. A brief synopsis of the video series is as follows:

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Tape 1

Session 1

BOYS WILL BE BOYS

Boys are different from girls physiologically, emotionally and socially. The series begins with Dr. Dobson examining how God designed boys. These masculine traits can often irritate and confound parents, but were intended to be enjoyed and celebrated as well as molded and "civilized." Approximate Running Time: 60 minutes

Session 2

THE TROUBLE WITH BOYS

Recent research reveals that boys are more susceptible to emotional disturbances, learning problems, violent behavior, drug use and delinquency. In this emotional video, Dr. Dobson explores the important role fathers play in helping to steer their sons in the right direction. Approximate Running Time: 35 minutes

Tape 2

Session 3

WOUNDED SPIRITS

Dr. Dobson refers to what author Frank Peretti calls "wounded spirits," resulting from powerful experiences during the formative years of life. The result is a crisis of confidence, self-hatred and sometimes violent revenge spurred on by peer pressures and the negative influence of mass media. Approximate Running Time: 55 minutes

Session 4

ORIGINS OF HOMOSEXUALITY

A popular myth about homosexuality portrays it as genetic and unchangeable. It is typically neither. The personal stories of John Paulk and Mike Haley, both of whom left the gay lifestyle through the power of Christ's love, demonstrate that change is possible and that no boy is destined at birth to be homosexual. Approximate Running Time: 45 minutes

Tape 3

Session 5

PREVENTING HOMOSEXUALITY

Psychologist and author Dr. Joseph Nicolosi shares findings and information from his book A Parent's Guide To Preventing Homosexuality, (InterVarsity Press, 2002) which explains the critical role of fathers in raising boys with a healthy sexual identity. When a boy sees that his male role model is both good and strong and that the two of them share a masculine identity, gender confusion becomes far less likely. Approximate Running Time: 45 minutes

Session 6

ROUTINE PANIC

Routine panic may be the greatest source of threat to the American family today. Dr. Dobson addresses the issues that lead parents to overwork and exhaust themselves. Citing the latest research, he encourages parents to provide the stability and family time needed by both boys and girls. Approximate Running Time: 42 minutes

Tape 4

Session 7

QUESTIONS FROM PARENTS & GRANDPARENTS PART

In this segment, Dr. Dobson fields spontaneous questions from the audience. Participants ask advice on a variety of topics including: How do I counter society's influence on my boy? How should I express affection for my son? Approximate Running Time: 45 minutes

Session 8

MEN R FOOLS

Dr. Dobson points out how disrespect for and ridicule of men has become widespread within the culture. Television commercials and sitcoms routinely portray men as stupid, overweight, balding and slovenly. Advertising companies spend millions of dollars on these messages and they work, perhaps because men don't seem to understand or care that the joke is on them. Boys are the big losers when their role models look like fools. Approximate Running Time: 45 minutes

Tape 5

Session 9

BOYS R FOOLS

Conventional wisdom says girls are treated unfairly in school, yet Dr. Dobson asserts that boys are the ones in trouble. While the "girl power" movement tries to compensate for prejudice against girls, boys continue to founder. Because boys can't defend themselves, parents and youth organizations need to step in to celebrate the masculine gender and meet the special needs of boys as well as girls. Approximate Running Time: 45 minutes

Session 10

QUESTIONS FROM PARENTS & GRANDPARENTS PART 2

Dr. Dobson answers additional questions from the audience. Participants ask questions including: How do you provide a healthy outlet for boys to release their energy? How does homeschooling affect boys? Approximate Running Time: 35 minutes

Session 11

THE ULTIMATE PRIORITY

There's a tug-of-war going on for the hearts and minds of children today. This final video session challenges parents to protect their children from liberal activists who wish to further their own agendas and manipulate the future of our society. A final word of encouragement to parents ends the series. Approximate Running Time: 70 minutes

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Undoubtedly, there is someone in your family, church or neighborhood who needs to hear or see these messages. I hope you will help them access the information. I must commend the gifted individual who, along with his hardworking team, brought Bringing Up Boys to the small screen. It was directed and produced by Bob Garner, the Executive Producer in our Films Department here at the ministry. Before coming to Focus, Bob lived in Hollywood and worked as a producer with both CBS and the Walt Disney Company. He has been involved in a number of successful projects during his tenure at Focus, as well, including our award winning That The World May Know series and our sensational new animated videos for children, Ribbits!. For Bringing Up Boys, Bob and his team transformed the Welcome Center here on the ministry campus into a high-tech studio, complete with multiple cameras, microphones, lights and what I'm sure must have been several miles worth of power cables!

I realize that a letter such as this one can't do justice to a medium that is dependent upon sight and sound for its impact. Accordingly, we have placed a short video clip on the Focus on the Family Web site for those of you who wish to preview the Bringing Up Boys series. Just point your browser to www.family.org/bub to view the clip. May I suggest, as a final comment with Christmas right around the corner this video series might make a creative and thoughtful gift.

Speaking of Christmas, I need to address our present financial situation, although I am reluctant to do so at this time of year when many people are facing additional expenses. Nevertheless, I feel obligated to tell you that we have experienced a significant downturn in contributions this fall. For example, donations in September 2002 barely exceeded those received last year during the aftermath of 9/11, when a dramatic $3 million shortfall occurred. We have received only a 4% increase in income in the past three years, while inflation and health care costs have increased by 12%. We have coped with these financial pressures by cutting corners and trimming costs wherever possible. Now we must cut further into the muscle, because projections for the next fiscal year, 2002-2003, appear even more dismal, humanly speaking. Therefore, several weeks ago our executive team and I concluded a month long analysis of our finances and reluctantly shaved $7.5 million from our budget. It is always difficult to eliminate or reduce effective programs, but we decided years ago not to borrow money for operational purposes. We will spend only the funds that God and His people provide. He has blessed this ministry through the years, and I believe it is safe in His hands come what may.

Focus on the Family is certainly not alone in these difficult times, of course. The downturn of the economy has affected almost every Christian ministry. Some are in much greater need than we, and my heart goes out to their leaders. Likewise, I am concerned for those of you who have been hurt by the recession. Some of our long-time supporters are out of work, while others own struggling businesses or have made unsuccessful investments. We can't expect these friends to give anything, especially when many of them attend local churches that are barely keeping their doors open. What we have decided to do under these circumstances is let our needs be known, which I am doing today, and then ask the Lord to speak to His people about what is best.

Interestingly enough, Empty Tomb, a research group in Champaign, Illinois, recently published some startling statistics. In 1916, Protestants gave 2.9 percent of their income to their church. That figure climbed to 3.3 percent in 1933 (during the Great Depression) and remained steady throughout the latter part of the 20th century. Yet by 1999, when Americans were arguably more affluent than at any time in world history, Protestants that year gave just 2.6 percent of their income to their churches.1 Someone observed that "the more you have, the harder it is to let go of it." I believe that is often true.

Well, let me go to the bottom line: If you have met your other financial commitments, including your obligations to your local church, we'd sure love to hear from you. And if it isn't feasible for you to make a contribution at this time, I hope you'll lift us before the Lord in prayer. Despite our troubling financial situation, we rest in the assurance that our future is in His hands.

From all of us in the "Focus family" to your own family, may your Thanksgiving be full of wonderful reminders that "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights" (James 1:17a NIV).

See you in December!

James C. Dobson, Ph.D.
President

*(Note: Referrals to Web sites not produced by Focus on the Family are for informational purposes only and do not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites' content.)