Shirley's Turn

April 2002

Dear Friends,

Greetings from Jim and me and the entire staff here at Focus on the Family! This month, my dear husband is taking a well-deserved break from his Family News writing responsibilities, and I am pleased to have a chance to fill in on his behalf. I trust that you and your family had a blessed Easter in celebration of the resurrection of our Savior, and that you’re looking forward to the remainder of the spring and summer with great anticipation.

Since I have control of the podium this month, I’d like to take the opportunity to pay tribute to the man who has been my closest friend and companion for nearly 42 years.

This is a perfect time for doing so, as April also marks Jim’s birthday — on the 21st he’ll be 66 years young! What a pleasure it is for me to use this very public forum to wish a “Happy Birthday” to the man whose words have become familiar to so many of you through the Focus on the Family radio broadcasts and publications over the years.

And while I’m on the subject of important milestones, I can’t forget the truly momentous celebration taking place throughout 2002. This year marks the 25th anniversary of the ministry of Focus on the Family, and the celebration has already begun! Our theme throughout this silver anniversary year is “God’s Faithfulness.” Indeed, I am reminded of our heavenly Father’s graciousness to us time and again as I reflect on Jim’s 66th birthday and on Focus on the Family’s quarter-century of ministry.

What a journey it has been! Jim and I began our courtship when we were in college — he a senior and I a sophomore. It was a storybook romance, filled with laughter and fun. On our third date, he took me to an amusement park called “The Pike” in Long Beach, California. It was notorious for its rickety old roller coaster, which went out over the ocean and then clanked and clattered its way back to the shore. I was afraid to get on the thing, but Jim insisted. Finally, he put his arm around me and said, “We’re going!”

I screamed all the way through the ride, which was terrifying. We exited with the other dizzy passengers and walked up a ramp to get back to the park. At that moment, I fainted! People gathered around in concerned silence as Jim bent over me, patting my face and calling my name. He thought he had done the most stupid thing ever by making me get on that contraption! But I could hide it no longer. Jim saw a tiny smile in the corner of my mouth and realized he had been bamboozled. I had faked the entire episode just to get back at him! I thought he was going to kill me when the truth came out.

That’s the kind of relationship we’ve had, right from the beginning. Never dull, never static, but filled with surprises, excitement and, soon, with love for each other. I recognized from the early days that Jim Dobson was a man of character; one who had been taught honesty, integrity, honor and determination to succeed in whatever he put his mind to. He also knew how to treat a lady, as a result of his Southern upbringing. On our first date, it was clear to me that he had what my girlfriends called “class” — telling the maitre d’ where he wanted to sit, helping me with my chair, and relaying my order to the waiter. I was intrigued by this tall (6’2”), blue-eyed, blond Texan who spent much of his time on the tennis court as the captain of the college team.

Well, we were married three years later, and the rest is history. Our lives together have been wonderful — not perfect, because Jim’s not perfect — but more than I could have imagined. We’ve had our share of difficulties, like everyone else. Jim’s heart attack in 1990 and his stroke in 1998 easily could have taken him to heaven, and we still thank God every day not only for letting him live, but for granting him vigor and health. My husband has more energy than most men 30 years younger, and I think he’s more creative now than ever. He has two books and 10 videos in the “cooler” now, in addition to overseeing Focus on the Family and continuing his radio and television programs. Jim wastes absolutely nothing!

There is a side of my husband that others can see, but may not fully understand. He is a passionate friend of the “underdog,” and has been that way since he was a child. What motivates his involvement in public policy is not a lust for politics (although his critics sometimes accuse him of that), but a deep concern for those who can’t defend themselves. At the top of that list are the pre-born babies who are being murdered at a rate of 1.3 million per year through legalized abortion — little voiceless, powerless infants who will never be given a chance. Jim is also determined to protect children from indoctrination by “politically correct” ideas that are promoted by America’s decadent entertainment industry, or by homosexual activists who want to manipulate young minds at school or within the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts.

Even his defense of the traditional family reflects this same concern for the underdog. This wonderful institution continues to be assaulted by the cultural forces that swirl around the home.

What has amazed me through these skirmishes has been Jim’s willingness to “take the heat.” I tend to be a peacemaker, but Jim moves courageously to the front lines. He is regularly attacked and ridiculed by abortion advocates, by gay and lesbian activists, by the gambling industry, by the pornographers, by Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, by People for the American Way, by Planned Parenthood and by the liberal media. But he never wavers. Just like the Energizer Bunny, he keeps going and going and going! He does his job as best he can, then goes to bed at night and sleeps soundly. The only thing that bothers him is when his fellow believers refer to the moral issues of our day as “political” concerns and criticize him for his efforts to defend righteousness in the culture. I can tell you that, at times, he does feel as though he is in a very lonely battle, as our nation slides further away from the Judeo-Christian system of values. We’re both praying for a spiritual renewal that will sweep our country and draw us back to the Lord.

Even though God has used Jim to touch many people with his books and through the ministry of Focus on the Family, I’m happy to say that the life he has most directly impacted is my own. I had a troubled childhood, as my father was caught in the grip of alcoholism and my mother struggled to make ends meet. Before we got married, Jim promised me that he would do everything within his power to make up for what I had missed while growing up. He has delivered on that promise. I thank God for the way He has blessed us together. I never would have thought that a girl raised in very meager circumstances would grow up to meet personally with four U.S. presidents and numerous respected Christian leaders. Even more importantly, who would have imagined that I would have the privilege of seeing the lives of millions of people impacted with the love of Jesus through my husband’s humble efforts to serve Him?

Indeed, when I reflect on our journey together, I am overwhelmed by our heavenly Father’s goodness to Jim and me. Not long ago, we were both in his office at Focus on the Family, attending to some paperwork. At one point, the subject of death came up, and I put my arms around Jim and cried at the thought of his dying before I did. Like many wives, one of my biggest fears has been that my husband will pass away before I do, because I can’t imagine life without him. As I shared my thoughts on that quiet afternoon in his office, Jim cried, too, and we both thanked God for our relationship and for His love for us over the years. We both know that if the Lord tarries and nature takes its course, one of us will be taken before the other. But we’re already looking forward to that day when we will meet again “on that far shore,” in the presence of our loving Savior.

I hope these heartfelt and intimate comments will not embarrass my husband! After all, Jim has a private side to him, even though he is a very public figure. When he has had enough of his time in the “fishbowl,” he retreats to a quiet place until he can regenerate. Sometimes, however, it is not so easy to escape. When he had his heart attack in the summer of 1990 (while playing basketball), he checked himself into the hospital under an assumed name. If there was ever a time not to be recognized, that was it! Nevertheless, he received a telephone call three days later in the cardiac care unit from George Bush Sr. The president had heard about Jim’s illness and called from his limousine to see how he was doing. The nurses were quite surprised when the president called to speak with the patient they knew only as “John Doe”!

Embarrassing or not, my purpose in writing this month’s letter has simply been to celebrate Jim’s 66th birthday and Focus on the Family’s 25th anniversary by sharing a few thoughts about the man who has been such a wonderful husband to me and such a dedicated father to our two grown children, Danae and Ryan. Each one of us has taken a cue from him by embarking on writing careers of our own! Danae has just completed an inspirational book for teen girls titled Let’s Talk Relationships due out next year, after having already written 20 popular children’s books (the Woof series). Ryan is also working on a book for teens, and I have written a great deal in association with the National Day of Prayer. (I’ll admit that Jim and I have very different approaches to composition, however. He can write the most complex stuff while simultaneously watching a football or basketball game on TV. I do not understand how he does it. I must have absolute peace and quiet with no distractions in order to get any quality writing done!)

Speaking of writing, I’ll take the spotlight off my husband for a moment to say a word about my first book as a “solo” author. The new publication, which is being released this month, is titled Certain Peace in Uncertain Times: Embracing a Life of Prayer. It outlines a four-step approach to prayer called P.R.A.Y. (Praise, Repent, Ask and Yield) and includes a 31-day devotional that can help readers implement the P.R.A.Y. model in their lives. My hope is that this book will be a source of hope and encouragement to those who feel overwhelmed by the pressures and trials of everyday life. All proceeds and royalties will go to the ministries of Focus on the Family and the National Day of Prayer.

Certain Peace in Uncertain Times is being released in conjunction with this year’s National Day of Prayer, which will be held on Thursday, May 2. My staff and I in the office of the National Day of Prayer Task Force have been working feverishly over the past few weeks to prepare for this event. This year’s theme is “America United Under God,” and the accompanying verse is Psalm 46:1: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Americans from coast to coast will be gathering in parks, churches, schools, statehouses and other public venues to humble themselves before God and ask for His guidance, blessing and protection for our nation.

In light of the 9/11 attacks and the ongoing war on terrorism, the importance of praying for our nation is more pronounced now than ever before. This year, Dr. Lloyd Ogilvie, the chaplain of the United States Senate, has written a “Prayer for America” that will be read by citizens in every state at noon on May 2. I urge you to attend a prayer gathering in your own community on that day. To view Dr. Ogilvie’s “Prayer for America,” to find a calendar of NDP events, and for general information, log on to www.nationaldayofprayer.org.

Thank you for allowing me to come into your home with my letter this month. Jim will be writing you in May, with all the wit and wisdom befitting his 66 years! I know I speak on his behalf when I say a heartfelt “thank you” to those of you who have so consistently supported Focus on the Family through your prayers and financial gifts. This ministry was shaken financially following the 9/11 tragedy, which resulted in a 30 percent shortfall in September! But I’m told that, thanks to your faithfulness, it looks like we will be able to meet our budget requirements. The Lord has never failed us — but He has scared us to death a few times. May the Lord richly bless you for your partnership!

In Christ,

Shirley Dobson
The “Better Half”

P.S. As I mentioned earlier, Focus on the Family’s 25th anniversary celebration will be taking place all summer long. We’ll have a special “Heritage Pavilion” set up on our campus between Memorial Day and Labor Day, with exciting exhibits and activities for the entire family. We’d be honored if you and your loved ones could join us at some point during this exciting time — “Y’all come!” In addition, we have compiled a beautiful coffee table book highlighting a quarter-century of ministry (it even includes a few dusty photos of Jim and me during our courtship days!). This commemorative book will be released in June, but you can reserve a copy now by calling 1-800-A-FAMILY.