Spiritual 'Makeovers'

August 2001

Dear Friends,

If someone had told me a year ago that I’d one day write my monthly letter on the subject of women’s makeovers, I would have kindly suggested that he consider therapy. Nevertheless, this month I’d like to tell you a little about the National Makeover 2001, which was conducted by our Renewing the Heart Women’s Ministry earlier this year.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “What business does a Christian ministry have encouraging women to place undue focus on their physical appearance?” But let me assure you that the actual “makeover” was only a small component of this endeavor. The idea behind it was to ask women to give testimonies of how Jesus has changed their lives. The selected applicant would receive a full makeover as a symbol of the spiritual transformation that had taken place in her heart through the power of the Spirit, and she would also receive a “spiritual renewal kit” from Renewing the Heart consisting of several uplifting books and other resources. Women from all over the country sent us their stories, either through the www.renewingtheheart.com Web site or via regular mail.

This June, the winner of the National Makeover 2001 was selected — a lovely lady named Karen R. Thompson from Fayetteville, North Carolina. Our Renewing the Heart staff flew her to Focus headquarters in Colorado, where she enjoyed a special tour of our facilities and was interviewed by Janet Parshall on a live edition of the “Renewing the Heart” radio broadcast. Mrs. Thompson received the royal treatment while she was here, including a brand-new outfit, a manicure, a facial and a list of other items (all of them donated) that I’m sure my wife, Shirley, would understand, but which I don’t fully appreciate.

But as I said earlier, the physical makeover was merely a symbol of a deeper, spiritual change in Mrs. Thompson’s life. Her story was powerful and moving, as were many of the other testimonies that our female constituents submitted. I’d like to devote the remainder of this month’s letter to sharing some excerpts from those stories, because they serve as encouraging reminders of our heavenly Father’s care for His children.

I’ll begin with our winner, Mrs. Thompson.

I am the mother of 14 children, of which 13 are still living. Our child, Timothy, died when he had an attack of teenage diabetes and slipped into a coma before we realized what was happening. His death was the start of a wake-up call that would change the course of my life. Before his death, our family belonged to a church whose pastor controlled her congregation with fear. We were told that we were disobedient to God, and Timothy's death was God's way of punishing us. For a few more years, we lived with this guilt and condemnation. My husband and I decided to get out of the environment we were in, so we changed churches. After 23 years of being bombarded with God's wrath if we left, it took a lot of courage. We found a church that was full of love and focused strongly on family. My question was, "How could anything good come out of all this mess?" [God] said to give it to Him. He would never leave me; He would guide me step by step, one day at a time. I have gone from someone whose life was ruled by fear and scared of her own shadow to a woman who walks in freedom through Christ Jesus. Hallelujah!

What a wonderful demonstration of the verse, “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1)! Thank you for sharing your heart with us, Mrs. Thompson. It was an honor to have you here at Focus and to present you with a special makeover. Give all those kids a big hug for us! Now, here are a few testimonies from some other special ladies.

For better or for worse, in sickness and in health ...

... [My husband] and I had problems that kept us living separately for a while. I was pregnant and having trouble with my job. After my second daughter was born, she got sick. Alexandra was a normal child when she was born, but at three months old (on Christmas Day) she began having seizures. The CAT scan and MRI showed severe brain damage. God was there for me the whole time. He didn't restore my marriage right away, and He didn't give me a whole lot of money for babysitters and cars and gasoline. What He did give me was someone to hear my cries, and best of all, He gave me what I needed. God gave me the Alexandra that I have now. She has cerebral palsy from damage caused by the seizures. Before they let Alexandra leave the hospital the second time, the doctors said she would be little more than a vegetable, and that I would be better off putting her in a home. Well, they were wrong! She is a lot more than a vegetable, and the best place for her has been right here with her family. She doesn't walk or talk or even feed herself, but she completes our family. She smiles and laughs and sings songs in her own special way. God knew what He was doing ... (Paducah, KY)

It's about what you do with the blessings God gives you ...

... In May 1999, my husband and I finally decided that God wanted us to have a family. After a long physical and talk with the doctor, I was told that I could not have children on my own. The doctor told me that I would need the help of fertility drugs to help conceive. We all know how expensive this can be, so with a great sigh I left the doctor's office in tears. That same week our whole church came forward and began to pray for us to be parents if it was God's will. And what do you know, God worked a miracle and transformed my life, and within 30 days of this prayer I found out that I was expecting my first child. And what a transformation Jesus made in my life. Life is not about what you have or what you can buy or how successful you are. It's all about what God has done in your life and what you do with the blessings God gives you each and every day. Well, my miracle is a one-year-old son as of May 2, 2001 ... (Garner, NC)

Even if others forsake you ...

... My father was an alcoholic. He was unable to deal with the horrors of the Vietnam War, and since he didn't know Jesus, he tried to drink away the pain. From him I learned that while God was my Father, He wasn't anyone I especially wanted to know, and if I did know Him, I would only continually make Him mad and would have to live in fear of Him. At the age of 8 until I was 12, I was sexually abused by the son of a former pastor. When the abuse was discovered, I was the one in trouble because of it. The perpetrator was not punished at all! His parents told my parents it would ruin their son's life if they pressed charges or in any way got the law involved. They did not realize what the abuse had done to my life - nor did they really care. Through that experience I learned that I was a troublemaker and deserved whatever I got, or whatever happened to me. I also learned that God didn't really care about me or He would have a) prevented the abuse or b) made sure I wasn't blamed. It wasn't until I was 22 (10 years later) that I started attending a singles Bible study and grew spiritually in leaps and bounds. For the first time, I realized that Jesus loved me. And that He wasn't someone to be afraid of! He was interested in me and my life - every single part of it. Unlike everything my earthly father taught me about Him, God is interested in me and loves me. He will not threaten me. He is not continually mad at me. Just that knowledge alone makes a world of difference . . . (Gering, NE)

A wellspring of hope . . .

... My husband is as far away from the Lord as one could get. He is literally blinded to the truth - just like a zombie, spiritually dead the way I used to be. If I had one prayer that I knew that God would answer "yes" to here and now, it would be for my husband to know the Lord. I know that if he knew the Lord, really knew Him, I would be loved by him with a love that any woman would envy. As I sit here now with my baby 2,000 miles away from me and a husband whose heart is even farther, not knowing when either will ever come home, the Lord whispers to me, "There's no reason to be sad. Get up, go about your day, fix yourself up, and know that I am God ..." (Miami, FL)

I think you can see from these examples that our makeover contest was about much, much more than simply hairstyles and manicures. It is true that many women, at some point in their lives, desire to make an outward transformation (beauty parlors would be nonexistent otherwise!). But for those who live their lives with eternal goals in mind, the inner transformation that comes through Christ transcends physical concerns. The Psalmist described this powerful distinction between the physical and the spiritual when he wrote: “As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear Him . . . ” (Psalm 103:15-17a, NIV).

Each one of these stories testifies to the unique and important role that women play in God’s creation. In a society that characterizes the traditional roles of wife and mother as insults or burdens — rather than the noble, divinely ordained gifts that they are — it’s no wonder that so many women struggle with problems of identity and lack of confidence.

I’d like to take this opportunity to say “thank you” to each of the beautiful women who submitted their stories to Renewing the Heart. Many of you commented that you appreciated the opportunity to describe your testimony for us, regardless of whether or not you ended up “winning” the contest. The spiritual insights you shared are evidence that each one of you has already taken hold of the true “prize” — the life - giving power of Jesus Christ, which never changes and never fails. Even though many of you have experienced trials and disappointments — some of which are ongoing even now — you have found refuge in the One who said, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows” (Luke 12:7, NIV).

To all of my readers out there — men and women alike — I ask, “what’s your story?” Have you ever taken the time to sit down and reflect on what God has done in your life? If you haven’t, perhaps now would be a good time to do so. Put it in a letter, or even better, sit down face to face with a friend or a family member and talk about what our heavenly Father has done for you. No matter what your background, every believer has a compelling story by virtue of the fact that each one of us has been “brought from death to life” (Romans 6:13) through the blood of Jesus. God gives meaning and purpose to each new day, no matter what your story.

Blessings to each one of you. I’ll see you next month!

Sincerely,

James C. Dobson, Ph.D.
President