Coming Home

I pass a lot of houses on my way home—some pretty, some expensive, some inviting—but my heart always skips a beat when I turn down the road and see my house nestled against the hill.

These nostalgic words from Bob Benson’s poem "Laughter in the Walls" illustrate in a simple yet moving way the deep joy that we often feel about coming home, whether it’s the routine return from a day’s work or journey’s end after a long-awaited trip across the country.

These feelings of love and gratitude for our home and family are a major reason that Americans cherish the celebration of Thanksgiving. The holiday’s hallmarks of tradition and prayerful reflection make it a time greatly anticipated by young and old alike. With the rich aroma of turkey, dressing and pumpkin pie wafting through the air, friends and family gather around the table to share lively conversations and laughter, stories of times past and heartfelt expressions of thanks for all the gifts God has bestowed. As we hear again the story of Aunt Bessie driving her Model A home from the neighbors’ house in reverse, or Great-Grandfather snowshoeing over a mountain range to his wedding, memories are forged and tales are passed from one generation to the next. After the meal, as the afternoon unfolds, people often linger to watch the big game, enjoy a puzzle or play ball in the back yard.

In light of our fondness for this wonderful occasion, it’s not surprising that 89 percent of Americans say dinnertime, whether the Thanksgiving feast or the daily meal, is when family traditions are born. Beyond satisfying physical needs, mealtime provides the opportunity for families to strengthen their relationships and focus on their spiritual heritage. Jesus used the time of fellowship created around meals to present many of His teachings, and Acts 2:46-47 gives us a glimpse of how significant sharing a meal was to the early church by describing how believers "broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God."

Today’s family mealtimes continue to be a great setting in which to convey a sense of belonging and to impart the truths of our faith. As the blessings of the day are recounted, children see evidence of God’s loving, faithful care and the importance of honoring Him with a time of thanks. And as family activities and cultural concerns are discussed, parents can explore with their kids how biblical principles apply to the issues we face personally and as a society.

Recent studies confirm the positive impact of families eating meals together. In a research project conducted by Dr. Blake Bowden of Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Center, 527 teenagers were studied to determine what family and lifestyle characteristics were related to good mental health and adjustment. Dr. Bowden and his colleagues found that kids who ate dinner with their families at least five times per week (at home or in a fast food restaurant) were the least likely to take drugs, feel depressed or get into trouble with the law. This factor was a more definitive indicator than age, gender or family type when predicting a teen’s behavior. In addition, these young people were more likely to do well in school and to have a supportive circle of friends. The more poorly adjusted teens, in contrast, ate with their parents an average of three or fewer evenings a week.

A 1996 study done by Dr. Catherine Snow, a professor of education at Harvard’s Graduate School of Education, revealed similar results. By following 65 families over an eight-year period, it was determined that dinnertime was of more value to child development than playtime, school and story time. Clearly, there is power in family fellowship.

With such strong evidence in support of family meals, it’s unfortunate that only one-third of U.S. families eat dinner together most nights. The hectic world in which we live has pressed in on all sides, making us feel that eating on the run, while unpleasant, is a necessity of modern life. However, it is possible for us to change this trend. With some determination and planning, we can maintain the "Thanksgiving atmosphere" throughout the year. The most important ingredient is not what’s on the table; we can serve a home-cooked meal or a pizza. What does make a difference is that we regularly set aside time to sit down to eat together.

If your family’s schedule prohibits your being together every night for dinner, earmark specific days and mealtimes that you can count on, such as breakfast on Saturday or lunch on Sunday. Valuable communication can take place whether you have 20 minutes or an hour to spend, especially if distractions like TV and the radio are eliminated. Put a little zest into your meals from time to time, too, by adding a creative touch. For example, how about fast food by candlelight on a busy night? And don’t forget that laughter is good medicine that refreshes the spirit. Occasionally start your meal by having everyone tell their favorite riddle or joke. Ideas are available from a variety of sources that can turn mundane mealtimes into memorable ones!

Thanksgiving will always be a unique and treasured holiday, but many aspects of this celebration can become a part of daily life. The key is to look for ways to seize the priceless time we have each day, sitting across the table from one another, to reinforce our bonds of love, to affirm the value of each family member and to acknowledge the importance of our relationship with God—the Provider of every good and perfect gift.