Let's Roll

Todd Beamer wasn’t supposed to be on United Airlines Flight 93 that clear, blue-sky day last September. A sales rep for Oracle software, Todd normally took an evening flight before making a sales call. But he had just returned from a family vacation in Italy on Monday, Sept. 10, and he wanted more rest before flying to California on business.

The Beamers had two sons, David, 4, and Drew, 18 months, and his wife, Lisa, was pregnant with a third child. Todd left the house early, while Lisa was still asleep. She never turned the television on during the day, so after waking she was oblivious to the breaking news the morning of Sept. 11. Then a friend called, telling her about the hijacked planes and the World Trade Center. Lisa turned on the television.

"I didn’t get nervous at all," Lisa says. "Todd wasn’t flying out of Boston," where the hijacked flights had originated.

Then she heard the news about the Pentagon crash. "I wondered how many other planes had this problem," Lisa says. "I tried calling Continental Airlines, which he usually flew. Then I thought he might fly on United because it was cheaper. I started to get a little concerned."

Then the television broke the news about the plane crash in rural Pennsylvania. At first it was reported that the crashed plane was headed for Chicago, but that was later amended to San Francisco. "At that time I knew it was Todd’s flight. I sensed no hope for survival," Lisa says.

Why didn’t he call?

Not long after Sept. 11, stories began circulating about phone calls made from the doomed Flight 93. Some had called to say goodbye to loved ones. Others had discussed plans by the passengers and crew to try to overwhelm the hijackers. They were being hailed as heroes.

But there had been no call from Todd.

"Initially, I was concerned," Lisa says. "I had heard that some passengers had been murdered before the crash, so you wonder. I was sure he was part of what happened; he was always a team player. He was always cool under pressure."

And then on Sept. 14, Lisa received a call from a crisis counselor at United Airlines. It turns out that Todd had called on the plane’s Airfone, but for some reason the call did not go to Lisa. It wound up with an Airfone operator in Chicago named Lisa Jefferson. The next morning the two Lisas had a tearful conversation by telephone. Jefferson told Lisa that her husband had been calm and matter-of-fact during the call.

Jefferson recounted how in a calm and businesslike voice, Todd told her the details: three hijackers, two with knives; 10 passengers in first class, 27 in coach, five flight attendants. The passengers were discussing ways to overpower the hijackers. "It’s what we have to do," Todd had said.

The hijackers, in an apparent effort to thwart these plans, sent the plane diving and swerving to try to knock the passengers off their feet. For a moment Todd’s voice showed fear. "Jesus, we’re going down," he said. Then he steadied. "We’re coming back up."

Jefferson told Lisa that Todd had talked about his family, and he asked her to call his wife if he did not make it home. "I don’t think we’re going to get out of this thing," he told Jefferson. "I’m going to have to go out on faith."

Todd asked Jefferson to pray with him, and together over the phone they recited the Lord’s Prayer. "Our Father, who art in heaven . . ."

He then recited the 23rd Psalm. "The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want . . ."

"Jesus, help me," Todd said.

Then Jefferson heard him say: "Are you guys ready? Let’s roll"—a phrase he used often with his boys.

Sounds of struggle, then nothing.

Peace

Lisa admits that at first she was emotionally numb on Sept. 11. "What prevented me from hysteria was knowing the truth—in the end it was still okay," she says. "I said over and over and still do: Eternity’s still okay, even if here and now isn’t. The foundations of my life are still intact."

She also knows that she needs to stay strong for her children.

"Drew wasn’t really verbal yet. He was aware in the first few weeks that something was awry," Lisa says. "Now he looks at Todd’s picture and asks, ‘Where Daddy?’

"But David knew immediately. I sat with him Sept. 12 and explained to him what happened. I didn’t go into details about terrorists—he’s not of age yet. He’s aware that Todd isn’t coming back, but heaven is still an uncertain place for him to understand.

"They’ve both adjusted now, and I try to keep things normal for them—activities, school. They feel safe, Mommy’s here and they’re secure." And they welcomed home a baby sister, Morgan Kay, on Jan. 9, 2002.

Lisa’s secure in the love she shared with Todd. They met during their senior year at Wheaton College and were married in May 1994. Family was important, and even though he had a high-powered job, Todd set his Palm Pilot to ring every day at 5:15 p.m. so he would be reminded to get home for dinner.

"Todd could be a goofy guy," Lisa says. "He’d play with the kids, follow their lead. Drew was once walking around with a bucket on his head; he put it on Todd’s head, and Todd played along, bumping into things. He was very focused at work, but on a fun level he could roll around the floor with a 2-year-old."

Lisa is glad that her final memories of Todd are good ones, particularly the vacation they had just returned from.

"We went to Italy on an Oracle trip, which was for the top sales people of the year," she says. "In Rome we spent time touring the ancient ruins, which Todd found fascinating, and spent a day in Florence. We just strolled the city most of the day and enjoyed a relaxing lunch at a sidewalk café and gelati as we walked; ice cream was our favorite indulgence. Florence is famous for jewelry, and in a quick decision quite out of character for both of us, Todd bought me a diamond tennis bracelet. Obviously this is now priceless to me.

"Todd lived every day trying to make little decisions that were in line with the big goals he had for his life," Lisa says. "The actions he took on Sept. 11 were just one more example of that. Obviously, these were some of the hardest and most courageous decisions he made, but he was able to make them because he was practicing every day before Sept. 11."