An Anniversary to Remember

On Nov. 7, 1981, I married my high school sweetheart and we honeymooned in the Caribbean. A few years into our marriage, we planned to renew our vows on our 25th anniversary by returning to our honeymoon spot.

Then our marriage bubble burst.

In 1998, we divorced. When a song or scent triggered a marriage memory, I thought about our plans. I grieved over what might have been and dreaded a spouseless 25th anniversary.

Then in 2006 I was offered a work assignment in the Bahamas, and I was ecstatic. The resort’s Web site took my breath away. The palm trees and turquoise sea beckoned me away from harried New York and my life as a single mom. All I could say was, “Thank You, Jesus.”

Then God spoke to my heart: You are my bride, and I will take you back to the Caribbean on your 25th anniversary.

The lover of my soul had heard my yearlong whimpering, and I knew He wanted to heal my heart and mind. I was giddy with anticipation like a bride-to-be, so I packed something borrowed (a suitcase and some island-style skirts), something blue (a journal to track my island activities), something old (a quarter century of memories and a second journal to record how I would let them go) and something new (a leather journal to write about my life experiences after the trip).

I flew from New York on Nov. 9, 2006. Ironically, 25 years earlier, my husband and I departed from LaGuardia Airport on Nov. 8.

After arriving at the resort, I was escorted to a suite where French doors opened to a balcony overlooking the sea. The moon cast a silver shimmer over the water and took me back in time. As honeymooners, my husband and I had sat on a beach after dinner. The peace of our moment together was as seductive as the scent of the island flowers. While sitting with the man I loved, I looked over the bay and told him that our lives probably wouldn’t be as carefree and peaceful again — and I was right.

Alone on the balcony of my hotel room years later, I recounted the events that led to my divorce but was surprised by the peace that enveloped me. God was there with me, comforting my heart.

During free time, I had fun fishing, snorkeling, playing with dolphins and enjoying a beach party. When all was still and quiet in the early morning hours, healing came. As the sun split the eastern sky, I listened to the waves lapping the shore and wished my quiet times on the balcony could last forever.

I shed some tears and poured all my words about the past onto the pages of a journal until there weren’t any left. Then, because I wanted to leave the old behind, I tore up the pages describing my past life. I thanked God for the good and praised Him for holding me through the storms. It was then that the years of healing became complete.

Though different from what I’d planned, my life is wonderful. Certainly, divorce is devastating, but it is possible to let go, recover and move on. For me it included three journals, two Caribbean honeymoons and one great God!

Perhaps God is urging you to leave your pain in His arms and walk bravely forward. Trust that He is with you every step of the way.