Turbulent Teens, Stubborn Love

My daughter, Rebekah, is like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates: "You never know what you're going to get." One day her personality is delectable; some days it's unappetizing. On others, her bitter ingratitude is hard to stomach. If 16 is supposed to be sweet, then I've been tricked.

"You don't love me 'cause if you did, you would trust me. I wish I had a different mom! You're ruining my life! You're too strict...."

My teenager's words on our morning drive to high school one morning pierced my heart. I managed to keep my tongue right where it belonged — peaceably in my mouth — but my mind was screaming.

Love? I've sacrificed so much for you. Trust? That begins with honesty, and you weave webs that make Spider-Man look pathetic..... I sat silently with my brain numb and emotions frazzled.

"Well?" she asked.

I swallowed hard. "You know, trust is something you have to earn."

She rolled her eyes.

What next?

Rebekah was a full-fledged teenager, and I wasn't sure what to do about it. Constant supervision wasn't the answer. Incentives and positive reinforcement didn't work either.

On my drive to work, I vented to the Lord. Where are You in all this? Where did I go wrong? I trained up my child in the way she should go, yet she is departing from every good thing I taught her.

I wanted to give up, but my stubborn love wouldn't let go.

By the time I got to work, I was spent. I found my heart softening, and I wanted to head back to school, wrap my arms around my daughter and hold her tightly. Inexplicably, I felt the urge to call her.

She didn't pick up, so I left her a message.

"Rebekah, Honey, this is Mom. I feel compelled to call and tell you that I love you. Please make the right choices today. Bye, Sweetie."

After I hung up, I was upset with myself because I didn't know where the last part of my message came from. Make the right choices? I just wanted her to be confident in my love regardless of her decisions. But I couldn't take it back. It was recorded.

God knew

Several months later, my sisters and I were telling stories about foolish things we did when we were young. Since time had separated us from the crime, we knew Mom wouldn't get mad. In fact, she laughed right along with us.

As the last story finished, my daughter announced she had a story to tell. And it came with a fair warning. "Mom, don't get mad."

She asked me if I remembered the day of our heated argument on the way to school.

"Yes, I remember."

"That day I decided to skip school with my friends and go to Mickey D's for breakfast."

She explained that during their getaway drive, they laughed and talked about how I never let her do anything or go anywhere.

That's when Rebekah's phone rang. She saw my number and dropped the phone like a hot potato.

Her friends quickly asked, "Well, Bekah, are you going to answer?"

She claimed she couldn’t think. Her body was frozen in fear. She frantically began asking questions no one could answer. "Is she following us? Is she hiding down the street? Why is she calling me? She never calls me during school. Does she know?"

Tears streamed down her face as she continued her story. She had picked up the phone and listened to my message. "Rebekah, Honey, this is Mom. I feel compelled to call and tell you that I love you. Please make the right choices today. Bye, Sweetie."

Make the right choices? How had I known? The girls were freaked out.

And now so was I. My rule-breaking daughter had heard from God, her childhood Trainer. Not only that, but she also chose to right her wrong. She gathered her friends and headed back to school to face the consequences of their behavior.

I rejoiced as my blessing sat before me. Our gracious God had stepped in. She wasn't departing from His ways. She was growing toward Him.

I began to see change. I witnessed growth and maturity coming to pass. My precious box of chocolates was being filled with His sweetness.